The past few years have been rough for me, emotionally speaking. My husband and I suffered multiple pregnancy losses, I gave up a teaching career that had become fused with my life to raise our son, and I felt adrift while my postnatal hormones totally wrecked my system. My life lay in shambles. I didn’t know it at the time, but my life was embodying the energy of The Tower tarot card. Ideas about the way my life should look, the plans I’d made, and beliefs I held came crashing down around me. What am I even doing anymore?
The Tower is a card that can be heart stopping when it comes up in a reading. “That looks bad… What does that mean? Am I going to fall out of a tower?!” Probably not. I mean I can’t say that you won’t ever fall out of a tower, but it seems exceedingly unlikely. No, this is a card of complete and total upheaval. The foundation of your life is shaken, sometimes ripped out from under you, and it can be a powerful and emotional time.
There’s no sugar coating the impact The Tower is going to have, but there is a silver lining. You’re still here and the rubble can be cleared. You can lay a new foundation and build again. It’s a card that opens up a whole new path you couldn’t even see because you were chilling in your tower.
This concept hit me like the lightning bolt in Pamela Coleman-Smith’s iconic depiction of The Tower while in a therapy session earlier this year. Everything that had happened in my life for the past three years has led me to this point. All of the destruction, uncertainty, depression, grief, negative self-talk, and general bleak outlook had actually shown me what I really want to be doing with my life.
I told my therapist about my plan to read tarot professionally. I’d been reading for myself, and close friends and family, and I was getting more confident in my skills. I told her that I had some good ideas, and I really wanted to help others with tarot because it helped me in my darkest hours. She looked at me and told me I had never come more alive in a session. I was scared to start because what if I sucked, or worse, what if I hurt someone? She told me that my fear was just trying to keep me safe, but that I couldn’t let it take the wheel.
So here I am now. The Tower shook everything and cleared the way for me to walk a path that’s aligned with who I am and what I want to do. I’m still a little scared, but I’m also excited, and I’m excited to share this journey here with you. Don’t fear The Tower because you won’t be in that energy forever. When the clouds break, embrace the new adventure.
When has fear stopped you from moving forward?
When has the Tower uprooted your life?
What changes came after the storm?